i'm signing you up for texting rehab
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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