you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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