Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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