I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize