I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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