In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize