About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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