I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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