Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize