Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
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No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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