Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize