weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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