Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize