the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
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I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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