I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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