im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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