mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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