the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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