cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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