considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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