Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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