Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
whose parrot is this?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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