Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
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Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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