I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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