you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
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He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
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A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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