Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize