So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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