He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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