I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
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Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
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When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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