her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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