And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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