I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
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Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
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MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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