The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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