you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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