hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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