well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize