just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize