I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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