I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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