Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize