Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
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I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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