Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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