oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
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