i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
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