Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
well, you know. whores of a feather.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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