haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
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So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
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She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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