I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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