im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize