guys are not supposed to queef...right?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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