The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize